It has been a long 20 months since I last wrote a blog post. I didn’t post the photos of my ‘finished’ paintings for my graduation show because I hated them so much! They were rushed and it showed. I am a perfectionist and I put so much pressure on myself that I couldn’t paint. The results were mistakes after mistakes, and I ran out of time. I had to stay up for three straight days without sleep to get them to the point that they could be exhibited. But, to me, they look awful! I have only just been able to look at them again. I could finish them off to the standard they should have been, but my heart isn’t in them any more. Besides which I am working on some new paintings now.
I didn’t paint for over a year after my graduation. After the pressures of graduating and the paintings that were the result, I fell out of love with painting for a while. Then the pressures of getting a job and moving home took over and before I knew it a year had flown by.
Jump to now and I am slowly getting back to being in love with art again. The pressure isn’t any less. I now have to juggle two jobs and I am back at university studying for my MA! I don’t like to do things by half!
I thought a lot about whether I wanted to continue with my bra paintings or not. I wondered if they were limiting me in terms of scope, however, after talking to some professional artist friends, I realised that it is difficult to be unique in the art world. I haven’t found anyone who does what I do, the way I do it. And I still have so many ideas that I want to experiment with. I am beginning to get the hunger back. The hunger that compels me to paint. I never thought painting bras would give me that hunger but here I am! Perhaps this was helped by the fact that I actually sold two of my previous bra paintings just before Christmas! Just the encouragement I needed I think!
So now I have made the decision to allow you all to see the finished paintings from my graduation show. You may love them, you may not, but for you to see my progression throughout my MA, you need to see where I left off. So here they are….
The only parts of them that I like are the cups. I guess I spent so long getting them right that I ran out of time to finish the rest. They will serve as a good lesson. I will try not to put so much pressure on myself in the future. But I will always be a perfectionist, I cannot change that!
Now I am focusing on some new work. I will create another blog post soon with some work-in-progress photos so you can see where I am at currently. It certainly won’t be as long before I blog again!
And one last thing….Happy New Year everyone!